YOU DESERVE TO KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO SMELL YOUR OWN FLOWERS AND FEEL YOUR OWN LOVE.
Crayon on Sketchbook Paper.
One of the first poems for the Tulip Collection, written back in 2023.
We spend much of our lives alone, and I certainly know a large percentage of my life will be spent alone with my thoughts, so I better like myself.
I don’t think I have for quite some time.
And how the hell am I supposed to feel full with someone else when I barely even like myself?
How would I ever believe someone loved me if I couldn’t love myself?
I’d never trust them.
I’d never really hear the words they said.
So what’s the point in looking for someone to say them to me if I can’t even hear it from myself?
Most of my time is spent in the company of strangers. People who will only be a, part of my life and whose faces I’ll one day forget.
Trying to find value in myself through the comfort and validation of others only gets you so far.
After giving my garden away to several special people in a very short amount of time, after spending so long on my own I was reminded I deserve love, to be held, and to hold. I do not need to spend my alone for I have no one to prove I can be on my own to anymore, I’ve already proved that to myself this year. And I also do not need to spend my life dedicated to finding someone and making them happy for if I did then with they decide to leave I would have nothing left. There is no purpose in making finding love your purpose, for you can find it wherever you may go if you are open enough to see it and abundant enough to give it. I deserve to provide myself with the same love I hand out to others so easily. To feel the kindness, care, and consideration I give to so many for myself.
I deserve to date me.
These tulips, a symbol of deep devotion or love, are my way of giving myself my flowers. Creating this work has forced me to sit with and enjoy my own company in the absence of those that I love. Only creating this work when I am loving myself and am in a happy headspace, creating this work has slowly begun to change the chemistry of my brain. My self-talk and thoughts have improved, I’ve reminded myself of both my purpose and who I wish to be along with who I’ve been. I’m incredibly grateful to have a platform to share these concepts and ideas as I think it’s a sentiment that many of us need to be reminded of. I hope you will share this work and its message with your loved ones and I’m so excited for all of you to have these pieces in your hearts and home.
It is important that we take the time on our own to cultivate the persons we wish to become so that when the time comes to share it with others we are where we need to be.
